Does Hypnosis Work for Fertility?

Thank you for joining me today. How many of you know about hypnotherapy or how many, how many of you know what it is? It’s okay. If you don’t, how many have you seen state shows and are worried that I’m going to make you quack like a duck? It’s okay. No, Justin beibers I’m so sorry. No, Madonna’s no, Brittany Spears. No, she has her own set of problems. We don’t need hers. So I can’t do any of those things. The great thing about hypnotherapy is it helps you move forward. Not what. Entertain it, I am not a hypnotist. Those are those folks that are up on stage. It’s about 5% of your population. They want their 15 minutes of fame, want to live outside their box and the people up on the stage have to be highly suggestible.

[00:00:52] In my world, anybody who’s in my office who wants to change, wants to make a difference can sit in the chair, even if I gave you a suggestion and you’re going to go home and dye your hair. Oh, rainbow. Unless you want rainbow hair, you’d hear that and go, what? So, what I do is I help people make a change. And so part of the reason I got into fertility work is when I was 35 years old, I had to have a complete hysterectomy. I had had an IUI treatment and my uterus collapsed. Everything, including the baby. I was three months along. Had to go. I didn’t have any support. I didn’t have anybody like me to help myself get through this. I had to learn it myself and I didn’t have people like dr. Magarelli and dr. Diane, who also was there to help explain this is what’s happening. This is, you know, your fallopian tubes don’t work. You have endometriosis, you have fibroid tumors. Yeah I had all three. And all of that, they could I, if I had had somebody to that wonderful to help, that would have been great.

[00:02:03] But unfortunately we don’t have that. How many know what the number is or the amount of women in the United States? Who’ve had miscarriages 67%. That’s not. Mexico, Canada, it’s not Europe. It’s not the middle East. It’s just us. And why is that? Because we are, the nation of stress is just like they were talking about in the opening part, when Darren was talking about stress and breathing and relaxing. That’s what happens when you have a stress filled uterus, not many eggs are gonna implant, unfortunately for all of us. And that’s what happens. So my job is to help women through that stress. Currently in the United States, there are 7 million, 7 million women who have fertility issues. They don’t always know why it is. Sometimes it’s nothing physiological wrong with them. What’s wrong is more of, it’s a mental thing. And it’s not because you don’t want a baby. It’s not because you don’t care for your partner. It’s not because all of the things, a lot of it, it has to do with fears. A lot of it has to do with stress. A lot of it has to do with, we’re not getting the right information. And so that’s part of the reason why we all work here, together today for fertility. Because if you look around you, we’re all in the same boat. There’s not somebody here who’s a little more special than somebody else. We’re all working together to move ourselves forward. So now there’s been 14 studies that have been done. Not just some hokey pokey schools, unless you call Mayo clinic, Harvard, Stanford, Cambridge university in London, all hokey pokey schools. There are all kinds of schools as to how hypnotherapy helps you move forward.

[00:04:10] Now, as dr. Magarelli said for an IUI treatment, it’s about 8-12%, to have a baby and that’s to get pregnant folks, that’s generally not to have the end result as he said the golden egg to get that baby in your arms. It’s just to get pregnant. That is not a very good number. IVF, normally that percentage without somebody like dr. Credenda is 26% and it goes down the older us girls get, as you know, the talking about the eggs. Not good numbers, but in some of these studies, they’ve actually had adding hypnotherapy to that practice jumped from 26-42% up to 68% of getting pregnant and having the end result of being the sweet baby you want. And when you add dr. Credenda in with it as well. So you’ve got your hypnotherapists, you have your wonderful doctor, you have your wonderful acupuncturist and you, luckily, if you have a massage therapist and a chiropractor, you’re going to bump to about 80, 85%. That’s wonderful because that’s the end result you want is to have that sweet baby that you deserve to have.

[00:05:32] So those are all about some of the changes and the things that we’re working on together so that we can make some changes in your life. So hypnotherapy, I know there’s a lot of myths. There’s a lot of things that like, Oh, it’s not been around very long. It’s new age. Hm. Nope. Not unless you consider the late 17 hundreds new age. We’ve actually been around longer than psychotherapy.

[00:06:00] Sigmund Freud was originally a hypnotherapist, before he became a psychotherapist. All of those good changes are what moves us forward to become the persons that we want. I work with your subconscious mind. Now, when you work with a regular therapist, they work with your conscious mind, which may or may not know the reasons why you have your fears of getting pregnant, or you have some of your stress issues about being pregnant or getting pregnant.

[00:06:31] I know that all of these wonderful changes take place in your subconscious mind. So I have lots of different techniques that I use to help people, through that to become pregnant. So to get past all the fears that you are going to be like your mama, that was one of my big ones. I, my mother is crazy. let’s just put it out there. She’s an undiagnosed manic depressive. I thought that if I too got pregnant, when I could have in my twenties, I was going to be like my mother. Well, no. She’s still her, but I’m me. So I help women make those changes and to get past those things. So that helps them decide and feel better and to relax and to take better care of them. So then when you work with somebody, even like our dear sweet September in the back of the classroom, you want to have that beautiful uterus happy, ready, healthy. And every part of you moving forward towards your end goal of getting a baby. So who would like to relax, do a little relaxation, get to experience a little hypnosis? And so anybody who’s afraid of it–let me once again, tell you I’m not in control of you. How many have done meditation work before? Hypnosis is very similar to meditation work. Meditation work is very broad-scoped where hypnosis is very narrow. Cause we’re working on your things where I use hypnosis, I use neurolinguistics programming, which is what you do a little regressional work as to why is this? Why is that? As well as I do psychotherapy work as well, so I can wear many different hats in my office to help you get the best treatment to help you move forward. Dr. Magarelli and Dr. Credenda actually refer people to me who have had a few issues with having babies or they’ve had to the point where there’s no babies are going to, to make it.

[00:08:39] They’ve had a lot of miscarriages and there’s just not nothing more they can do to help them because their body is not capable of having a baby. So I help people through grief and loss too. I hope that never happens to any of you. I hope you all get the end results you want. That’s my hope and prayer for you.

[00:08:59] So I want you to go ahead and put your feet on the ground. If you want, if you’re holding onto something, you can let that go and you can relax a little bit. Take a nice, easy breath. And you have the, the greatest thing about hypnosis is there’s no wrongs with it. It’s all about right. What’s right for your body. What’s right for you. So I want you to go ahead and take that deep breath in, let it flow out through your mouth. And if your phones are not on silent, I would hope that you do that for me, so they don’t go off in the middle. So nice, easy breath in again. And when you’re ready just go ahead and close your eyes for me. Nice, easy, comfortable, and just slowly follow your breath inward. Just nice, easy breaths. Your subconscious mind knows all about breathing. It’ll take care of it. And allow yourself to contribute, to start, to be in a state of peacefulness being in the now. And I invite you to just slow down, way down, just breathing easy your breath, steady. Peaceful and just feel your feet there on the ground. And in your mind, you could lay your hands on your heart, there on your belly and think of yourself as alive in this womb of now, life is flowing. It’s circulating, it’s moving around you around your body, in you. It’s becoming receptive and aware of life in and around your body. For you are a complete system of presence, of life, of empathy, of joy, just listen. And in this moment of emotion, sometimes it can feel as if the walls of life are closing in around you. Notice thinking sometimes there must be a way out of this uncertainty of any fear, any worries, those anxieties. Now just letting them go. They have no place in this moment in time. See if you could step back in your mind, just a little bit. Not so far that you start to deny what’s happened to you or think about being someone else, not so close that you’d fall in being engulfed in that intense feeling and forget who you really are. Breathe into this moment of now sense it, feel it. Imagine it taste it, be open to it and be within it. Feel your feet there on the ground. Again, breathing that in. Set aside, the ideas that things need to be cured or fixed, or you need to be healed, shift your perception from what is wrong to what is going to be seen, what is going to be changed. What’s going to be held. And in this moment of now, You’ll be finding the seeds of a new life. Breathe that in nice and easy. And when you’re ready, go ahead and open your eyes and be in that now.

[00:13:58] Good. Good. It wasn’t scary. Was it? Hypnosis isn’t hard. It’s not an uncomfortable thing. People always worry that I’m going to Oh, put in some kind of weird suggestion. Nope. I only want the best for you. As I support my clients, I give them the support they need to be in a safe place to vent or to talk. To encourage you to speak of your infertility issues. Quit making it something you don’t talk about, quit hiding in the closet about it. You don’t have to be ashamed. It’s not yours. You’re not broken, quit thinking of yourself as broken stop that because that’s all part of the fears. Part of the anxieties, part of the worries.

[00:14:54] And I also encourage you if you’ve gone through miscarriages to talk to your spouse. Whether it’s your wife, your husband, whoever it is, talk to them, because guess what? They’re grieving too. One of my first fertility clients, thanks to Dr. Magarelli, referred them over to me. They were a soldier and his wife, and she had gone through no less than seven miscarriages and she was at her wit’s end. She believed she was a broken person. There was no hope. And her husband didn’t grieve. That’s what she said. Well, he’s an army Ranger and he puts things in compartments so he can do his job. He too felt sad, he too felt bad, but he didn’t grieve the same way she did. And since she only saw him grieving one way, it was wrong. But no, know that your partner grieves. They also understand they feel bad about the infertility, whether it’s that 40% of fellows that are having problems, or if it’s you, or if it’s both of you. It’s okay. Whoever it is. It’s all right. It’s all right to get upset. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to even when you look at somebody else who has a baby, who’s not taking good care of that baby to be jealous. Or to why the hell do they have a child? That’s O K. And in my office, man you can scream about it if you need to. I’m all right with that, you can punch a pillow. You can stomp your feet. I’m all good. We’re working on whatever it needs for you to help you heal and to move forward. I encourage you also to always practice good self care through all of your treatments, whether they are before, during or after. Lots of sleep, proper nutrition, because as both of our doctors in the opening talked about, and it’s something I talk to my clients about a cold wet uterus is not a good place to grow a baby.

[00:17:13] It doesn’t work hard uteruses from stress and perfectionism and all of that and thinking you’re a broken person, doesn’t work either. So we have to work on all of those good things and listening to what your doctors tell you, proper nutrition, exercise. If you are deciding to take up some really strenuous exercise discuss it with your doctor. Don’t do that usually. And I know they will tell you this, unless this is what you’ve been doing for the last five, 10, 15 years. Do gentle walking, gentle yoga, loving things for you, and that uterus. Because you’re creating that to have a safe, beautiful place to grow your child, to be part of that. And most importantly, enjoy life, even if you are going through a lot of fertility issues, go out and have fun, because the more fun you have, and I’m not saying go drinking, that’s not what I’m saying, but what I’m saying is go have fun with your life. Life is way too short and the more serious we get, the more perfectionistic we become, the more we’re not going to have what you want, most of all that beautiful child. That’s my end goal for you. That’s everybody’s, who’s working here’s end goal. So how many of you have fears about you or your partner getting pregnant? Anybody, you don’t have to tell me what they are. It’s okay. I have a whole list. So for those of you who weren’t brave enough, remember I told you I was afraid I was going to be like my mama. So that was not what I wanted to be. Some of the things that people have said to me in my practice–I should have done this earlier. I shouldn’t have waited, it’s all my fault. We shouldn’t have waited. I shouldn’t have done my career. I should have found my partner. do you hear that “should have” stuff. Ooh, heavy.

[00:19:30] The fear of miscarriages. I’ve had some clients who’ve had abortions and I don’t judge you. If you’ve had an abortion, you’ve had an abortion. Okay. Let’s move forward, but let’s stop beating on ourselves if you’ve had sexual abuse, there’s another thing that, that fear of what if it happens to my child, I have a lot of women who’ve in my practice, as a matter of fact, two thirds of my practice these days have been women who have been sexually violated. It’s an awful number. Um, dysfunctional family relationships, your birth family, your husband’s family, that perfectionism thing, the fear of letting go. Concerned about your body image. The physical changes let’s face it, girls, most of us do get a little wider. Not everybody has that beautiful body that stays this thin. Am I ready to be a good parent? Will my husband or my wife be a good parent? Will there be enough money? Did we save enough? Guess what? No.

[00:20:45] Fear of hospitals, fear of medical treatments, fear of the shots, if you have to take hormone treatments. Fear of the loss of your independence. You’re individuality, fear of labor and birth. In my office, I have two different doulas who come in and do hypnobirthing, um, because that is a beautiful, natural way. I work with the midwives downstairs as well. Candice’s team is wonderful. And I help work through things to help them not have the fear of that birth. So you have the most beautiful delivery, whether you do it in the hospital, whether you do it in a pool of water or in your living room, it doesn’t matter. It’s what feels right for you only you, because it’s your baby. The fear of failure, the fear of I’m going to lose my career. And one I hear most of all is “I’m being punished for”, whatever it is. There’s something I’ve done in my childhood. I’m being punished for that. So that’s why I can’t have a baby. So have all of, you heard all these or some of these run through your head? Yeah. So we can help you through that and find out where did this fear come from so you can let it go. So you don’t have to be part of it and it doesn’t have to be part of you anymore. And I also want you to know it’s okay to forgive your body ladies.

[00:22:14] Like I said, I had at 35 I had to  have a full hysterectomy. I wish I had somebody like dr. Maggs, I wasn’t here at that time. When you have endometriosis or you have fibroid tumors or you have fallopian tubes that don’t work properly or they can’t find out what’s going on, it’s okay to forgive your body. It’s okay to forgive his body if he’s not producing the right amount of sperm. It’s all right. You know, It’s okay to forgive yourself if you’ve had miscarriages. It’s okay if you have autoimmune conditions. We seem to be having more and more and more of those here in the United States. And I think it has to do a lot with the chemicals that we have in our food. I think it has a lot to do with the stresses we have in our lives. So we’re going to learn to forgive ourselves, forgive our body, to stop blaming ourselves, to stop being shamed, because that’s why that’s one of the things September and I talked about when we first talked about having this conference, is lot of men and women will not talk about the fact that they are infertile or having some issues. Because it’s scary. If I say it out loud it’s going to be true. Well, guess what? It’s already true. Let yourself see that, look at everybody else in this room. They’re here too. You’re not alone. So I, I suggest that if you think you’re the only person, let’s try develop maybe a support group or something that can help you move forward so that you feel good. So you quit taking all of these challenges personally. So now to help you with a little forgiveness, cause like I said, I am all about teaching you some tools. That’s one of the things I do with my clients all the time is every time they come to see me, they get a new tool. They get new affirmations, whether it’s men or women. I work on helping people move forward. Because I don’t want you relying on me for the rest of your life. I want you to move forward with your life, to have what you desire to be healthy and happy in your life. So right now I’d like you to just take a nice deep breath in through your nose, out through your mouth, please. That’s right. And just relax and quiet your mind for a little bit. And I want you to just close your eyes if you choose, and if you choose not to, Hey, that’s all right. And just imagine, sense, and feel what it would be like six months from now if you accomplished that dream, that desire, whatever it is. How would that feel to you? How would your life be different? How would your life be better? And imagine achieving your vision, observing how happy it makes you feel. Does it make you nervous, anxious, relaxed, happy? Or is there a voice telling you in your head, “you can’t do it”. Throwing up all those roadblocks in your way. Imagine what you want as if you already have it. Imagine that baby in your arms or whatever your goal is that you want. I know it takes longer than six months, but you will be pregnant, if that’s your goal. Calm the negative self-talk. Imagine I give you each the magic scissors, you can cut that out. Don’t listen to it. Tell it to “shhhh”, we don’t care. Don’t buy into it.

[00:26:29] And now I want you to go into your body and your mind, wherever your issues are, whether they’re there in your mind that you feel like you can’t get pregnant, and the doctors are telling you they don’t know why or what’s wrong. Or if you have endo or you have fibroid tumors, or your fallopian tubes aren’t working. Or, you know, the ejaculate doesn’t have enough sperm, whatever it is. I want you to just imagine you could go in there, you could go to that part of you a little teeny version like I could shrink each of you down to just an inch or so. And you could go into that part of you and you could say “I forgive you” “I love you”, “we’re okay”. And then for you, ladies, I want you to imagine when you’re ready go into uterus and I want you to go in and make it beautiful. I want you to imagine you could paint it whatever color or sparkles or Ruby red. I don’t care. We all know what color it’s supposed to be, but make it whatever color you want in your mind, make it a healthy place for you to put a embryo in for it to be nurtured, for it to be loved. And if you’re the man I want you to imagine that you too could go in and talk to your sperm and tell them about the wonderful child they’re going to help create. How beautiful that boy or girl will be and feel that. Be that. You can go into your fallopian tubes, they’re like little gardens of eggs and sprinkle a little love, a little kindness, a little understanding, all of those things. So in that beautiful, special moment happens when the sperm meets the egg. Want you to imagine that burst of light, that love. And then you catch that egg because you’re there in that uterus and you catch it. You can hold that baby in your arms right then. And you can tuck her in or him in, into your uterus and sing a lullaby if you want. And just let that child feel that love. And you may even say to that child, your mom and I, your dad and I love you. We’re waiting for you. We look forward to you. You are so important. So loved, take as long as you need. Feel that peace, that love, that nurturing. And then I want you to tell yourself when you’re ready, you are loved. You are cared for. You are amazing. You are special. You are so very unique. And sometimes after I’ve done this little exercise with some of my clients, I get a call in a month or so–“Barbara I’m pregnant”. I hope that for each and every one of you. Take a nice big breath in, just feel that love, that nurturing energy here in this room. That’s just a little sample of some of the things I do. I had a longer presentation, but life goes on. I do offer a consult for people free of charge. If they want to come and chat with me about more about hypnosis and how it would work for them and their care.

[00:30:49] That’s great. I always work in concert with your doctors, your midwives, your Dualas all of that because we’re one big team that works together for your greatest care. Not one part of us is more important than the other. We’re all integral in your beautiful care for your body, for your life. So is there anybody has a question that they want to ask?

[00:31:13] Cause I left like two minutes before I will release you back so you can go eat your lunch.

[00:31:21] I thank you. Namaste. Thank you.